My name is Lexington Olsen and I am sophomore at University
of Florida who is an active protestor for gun violence. Gun violence is a
rising epidemic in the United States and last school year there was almost one
shooting for every school day. It is time for the United States to enact
change. I want to pursue a group of people who are active protestors and are
willing to constantly urge and write to legislation to pass gun bills. These
laws will enforce stricter background checks and take assault rifles of the
market, and out of people’s homes. This is vital to the safety of the United
States of America.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qelc0pDGqI
Great job! You were very concise; I like that you added a statistic, you stated you key demographic and gave a call to action. I think the only thing that I could really say i maybe just be a little more enthusiastic or hyped about your idea. (I know that its super awkward because its just a video) I think that delivery is just as important as content. So since this is just the first elevator pitch, my constructive criticism would just be to know your product is great and to show that through your delivery. All in all, great job.
ReplyDeleteHello Lexington, you did good! I like the topic that you decided to go with. I believe that this is something that this is something that is of top priority in the US. That being said, I love that you are using one of the assignments in the class to draw in more attention. The only thing I would focus on for your next pitch is to practice more gestures as well as keeping an enthusiastic tone. Regardless, you did great!
ReplyDeleteHey again! Awesome idea, I believe you are advocating for what sounds like a lobbying firm. This is certainly entrprenuerial, I'd advise going deeper into this concept like where your main office would be and potential partners to help get it off the ground. As far as the pitch presentation, be sure to be intentional with your inflection, changing your tone to bring emphasis to the important parts of the speech, try to maintain more eye contact, and use triangular movement, which simply means dividing up the parts of your speech (like intro, main point, conclusion) and moving as you transition to these parts to re-engage the audience so they catch these important elements.
ReplyDeleteHi Lexington, after reading your hypothesis testing, you did a great job in your elevator pitch video. I agree that there should be gun laws and it is very sad that you can compare how many shootings to how many school days in a year, that should make the United States want to change something. Overall you did a great job!
ReplyDelete